You can feed the homeless year round. Volunteer at your local hospital weekly. Attend church regularly. Teach Sunday School. Tutor at your kids school for free. Class mom. On the neighborhood planning committee. Big brother/sister at the Boys and Girls Club. Work overtime without compensation. Boy/Girl Scout Troop leader. Cook meals daily. Help with homework. Take kids to practice. Attend all the games. Coach from the sidelines. Host frequent family gatherings (pre-Covid). And the list goes on and on.

But God forbid you offend ONE person along the way. Don’t let you miss an event. Forget a deadline. Please don’t say the wrong thing to the wrong group of people. And you better not disagree with them. Sir, your fly is open. Ma’am, your slip showing…

You can be a borderline saint. All around superman/dad (or mom) and employee at the same time and it never fails. Do ONE thing wrong and you’ll never live it down because people will never forget that ONE time you messed up!!! Don’t believe me?

My one and only son is a prime example of this. I have 2 kids and he is the oldest. Trey is 10 and London will turn 8 in March. Both are active kids. Trey plays baseball year round and basketball usually in the fall. London is a gymnast year round.

Trey is a very literal kid. Situations are black and white to him. So it’s not uncommon for me to break down situations or to offer him a different perspective when I notice him viewing things all wrong. I’m not suggesting that this type of person is only guilty of this. I’m just describing my son in case yours is similar or you know someone like this. I actually think it’s just humanistic of us all to hang on to or only remember the negatives.

Like many of you, I believe I’m the typical mom these days. I have a very demanding job that keeps me busy during the week. Even now during the pandemic, I’m working just as hard (if not harder) while teleworking. After work, I’m running my daughter to gymnastics (4 out of 5 days), finding time to exercise, preparing meals, cleaning, etc. The normal things, like you with young kids; I’m busy.

During baseball or basketball seasons, usually we are at tournaments on the weekends which can either last all day Saturday or it’ll be a two-day tournament. Any baseball parents reading this? I’m sure you know the weekends I’m talking about.

For my daughter, if she has a meet, it usually takes us time to travel to and from the meet which eats up a whole Saturday. This is our life right now and please know I’m not complaining. I love watching the kids grow and play. It’s a beautiful thing.

But when we do have those weekends off, where nothing is planned, what is a girl to do with all this free time? Well, for me…I’ve stopped making things up to do like home projects. I’ll plan a few but sometimes I just want to lay in the bed ALL day. Reading a book is so sexy. I’ll lay around, read, watch tv, scroll on Facebook, take a nap or two, and just chill in my pajamas, of course.

And when this happens, you know what my son says? Bet you’ll never guess. He tells people (other family members) that all I do is a sleep all day. REALLY Trey!

Or how about the times I’ve missed one of his games? Trey has 1,638 games a season! And occasionally I’d miss 3-4 games (not days but a couple games) due to my daughter having a gymnastics meet, a church event I’m involved in, or a speaking engagement, or just something for mommy shit! And I’d miss ‘A’ game or two that morning during pool play, but I’d surely drive down to catch the evening games and you’d know what I’d get? Him: “Mom why don’t you come to any of my games?”

Are you freaking kidding me!!!

I do it ALL (not complaining) week in and week out and as soon as I miss something, as soon as I let you down or miss your expectation…I’ve been downgraded to an unfit mom! I’m never there for you all of a sudden. I missed ONE mark and it erases all the marks and milestones I’ve made along the way! How can that be son? How can that be world???

I work hard. I show up. I do my best. I stay involved. I try to do right by people. And know this isn’t just me. YOU work hard. YOU show up. YOU do your best. YOU stay involved. YOU try to do right by people…and it just seems as if it’s never enough. As soon as you let them down, all of your efforts are forgotten. They diminish to a grain of salt. They mean nothing. All of a sudden you mean nothing to anyone anymore.

Is this fair? NOPE. But this is exactly what we do within our homes, within our families, at work, within our communities, on social media…lord within the political realm. Don’t even mention that left/right mess. That’s a another discussion. But I think you get my point.

It doesn’t feel good when your efforts or your heart is diluted by ONE misstep, one mistake. Instead of focusing on what they said or did, how about focusing on where you can find an ounce of compassion? No, I’m not suggesting that we automatically overlook murderous acts. I’m referring to our day-to-day actions and reactions. Most of these remembered events are so minuscule that they should not take the front seat of that person’s life especially when you know them to be better, know their heart, or know they are worthy of forgiveness.

Key words…compassion, forgiveness, perspectives. When these things are checked, oh what a world we’d live in. One full of love and grace. For 2021…let’s put those 3 words in motion. Compassion. Forgiveness. Perspectives.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competition of 1