Since being back on my journey of intentional efforts of walking on the path of my purpose, I've increased my reflection period through listening to sermons from individuals like Bishop T. D. Jakes and the late Dr Myles Munroe. I also can't help but listen to motivational speakers I enjoy like the late Jim Rohn (my favorite of all time), Lisa Nichols, Les Brown, Tony Robbins and this new awesome brother, Eric 'E.T.' Thomas.

I listen as a way of motivating myself and keeping my positive energy river flowing. As some of you know, I'm an overall positive person meaning glass always half full mentality. I can usually see the good in any given situation. Even if meant for bad, after the initial shock, sadness, or even tears; I can often recalibrate myself back to a positive state by recognizing what is transpiring and the why of the situation.

For instance, one quick example. I'm a supervisor at work. Up until last year, at most I'd managed up to 20-22 employees. This year while on the temporary reassignment, that number has grown to as many as 80 plus employees. Not all directly within my purview. Like do you know or see your big boss often? For some, not really. So for many, several are in my eyesight while many in different buildings or I may just communicate with their first-line supervisor. Ok so here is my point. As a person, many of us, have issues with our supervisors. At work, more times than not, supervisors aren't the most liked individuals. Real talk.

From my view, most situations or issues at work are unsubstantiated but perception is reality, right. Get this. Supervisors have a job to do that most employees don't always know or understand and it's from that lack of understanding where misconceptions are built and assumptions gain their wings. So at the end of this, somewhere every day, an employee is talking to another employee about their terrible manager (yes some are but that is not true for the majority). With knowing that, it's easy for me to know an employee is mad at me and I be ok with it and still go home and sleep at night. At first glance, yes it may upset me but soon thereafter I realize what had caused this tension and I begin to understand and have compassion for them due to their lack of knowledge or understanding for my job and then I'm able to carry on with my day…my life. I'm a supervisor and I'm still a human. A human with feelings too.

So why not clear these things up? Honestly, sometimes I'm not authorized to prematurely speak on certain matters. But then I know from experience that you can talk until you are blue in the face and your position will still not be received. Bishop Jakes said it best, "You can't explain to a turtle, a giraffe's vision." That analogy can be used towards so many things. Moral of this example: I know my position as a manager and I'm cool with that. I do my best to be fair and only operate with doing what is morally correct. With that, I'm able to be positive and smile through the storms that brew in the workplace.

Well what about those that brew at home? That was a long commercial break, I know but I am going somewhere with this. So during this reflection time, I listened to parts of a sermon by Bishop Jakes called "Its hard to be a man." Look it up on YouTube. He explains how it's very hard to be a man which explains why so many up and walk away from their families, why many don't except their hard responsibilities as fathers, why so many have opted out of being men all together, etc. Many examples were given but the one I could relate to was when he explained how the enemy often attacks the man but the real target was the woman. 😳 Wow!

As a woman, I know women are very strong in nature. Women are able to be mother, wife, and employee and lines never cross. Women can take on a lot of stress both at home and at work and keep her wig on straight with a beat face (I.e. Flawless makeup…lol I don't want to lose anyone through jargon). Women are the real superheroes!!! Shat! I'll just say it. "Who gone check me boo!" ~Atlanta Housewife Sherae. Ok ok ok…but that's the true.

So the enemy knows of this power women possess and so he throws many stumbling blocks in her path to trip her up. But if this sister is anything like me, she will see the brighter side of that thing and move on unbothered! But check this out, do you know when you overcome that thing in that expedient manner with so much beauty and grace, the enemy is pissed! He just doesn't feel defeated and goes to the next sister. No ma'am! The enemy will attempt to build camp around you, so even though you have moved on…the enemy hasn't.

So what does the enemy do? Bishop Jakes explains that when the enemy can't have you, he goes after your man! Want to see a woman act like a lunatic ready to kill everything in her path…mess with her children. Want to see a woman emotionally distraught and bound with sadness, tears, with a checked out mentality meaning she isn't here or there emotionally as she has checked completely out…mess with her man. The enemy knows how to stop that smile from reaching your ears. He (or she) knows how to get your attention and stop any progress you were making by keeping your hold of your mind all day to where you can't think of anything else. You can't focus on work. You can't think effectively. It's hard to get dressed or even apply lip stick. Today is ruined…and tomorrow…and maybe the next. He has you now.

Please realize the enemy can get to you through your man with so many things. One common area in my house (I assume this is common for all) but for my husband, he is the typical man and I the typical woman. He gets quiet and what to I do? Well I've made it my goal to figure out what is wrong with him. So how effective is this? It only makes things worse right? From maturing in this thing called marriage, it took a long to time learn this one difference between men folk and women folk. Women we talk and men shut up. As a woman, when situations arise we have to talk that thing out to the nearest ear that will listen. Men on the other hand internalize those situations and feelings trying to figure out a solution. They don't want to talk. Hear me women! You must learn this valuable life or death lesson…they DO NOT WANT TO TALK. Save yourself the stress and hurt of him going into that cave. And please don't make the mistake of making his cave situation about you. Yes, ma'am I've done this plenty of times and have the t-shirt. Just borrow one of mine. If you know you haven't talked to him all day and he comes home in a funk, you my sister are not the issue. Let him be.

But what happens way too often, he comes home and makes smart ass remarks to you, yell at the kids, and kicks the dog. And then it gets started. That fight can last for days and you truly don't know what really transpired. So you had a great start of your week, got good news from the doctor, award presented to you at work for doing a good job, project you working on is ahead of schedule and below cost, your sew-in came out great… No matter what it is, know that happiness and joy is what the enemy despises. He doesn't hate you but he hates what's within you. He doesn't want to see you be great! And he hates the mere fact that you are God's daughter. You know how our lil girls are the apple of their Father's eyes. The enemy is out to break that bond between you and your Daddy, so he constantly tries to trip you up, but baby when he can't get to you…he goes after your man.

It's hard being a man under constant attack. Men are charged with being the provider yet some of you women make more bacon. It's hard being a man when taking a hard blow to your back yet he can't shed a tear. Hell that stick hurt him just like it hurt you! But he has to keep it together with no emotions or else he is considered weak. It's hard being a man when meeting other men, they have to constantly size each other up and just because he doesn't have a sheet a paper that most cheated and slept on to achieve, it doesn't matter he isn't fit for your society. It's hard being a man when looking for a job, he is viewed as lesser then because at mid-career he has to start over. One minute he was up but as soon as the job relocated out of town and he decided against moving his family because mom is fragile, the kids are flourishing finally in this school district, and the wife is loving her job. One minute up but that's all long forgotten and now he is down. Even the dog walks by in disapproval like "it's 9am, you don't have someplace to go?"

It's hard being a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. But I'm here to speak to you men through speaking to mines. Mr. Redmon I don't care what stumbling block was meant for me that somehow was redirected to you, I'm going to learn to give you that space and wait on the outside of that cave with a hot plate, a kiss and well a good night. Redmon I don't care what society says you should be doing in our marriage. When you and I make a decision, that's our rule. No one has reign to rule in our home. No man or woman shall come between us. I'll even acknowledge it, yep she is cute but you better get your eyes back right Mr Redmon cus ain't none of that going down over here. No sir, that's my son too. So who made up the rule that men have to be hard on their sons yet soft on their daughters? Looks like being hard to be a man started as a young boy, no wonder he threw in the towel! You say you mad? Like really mad? Like divorce you say. Boy bye…I agree a timeout is needed so go get in that cave cus this sister ain't going no where. Ain't signing on the bottom line. Devil is that all you got! Was that your best shot! The devil will not have my man (OR my son) so I'm encouraging all women reading, realize the tactics of the enemy! (Disclaimer…no divorce is not a subject in my house…get back to reading…I make up ish like that as I go) lol.

This is one thing I will repeat and repeat some more. Know who is operating behind that man of yours. Assess your man you married against the tactics of the enemy. Your man is still the same man you fell in love with and married. He does love you! But don't judge him as if "how could he" hell if there hadn't been already a time, there will be a time when he can say "how could she." The enemy hates married couples. Period! And since I know that fact, I'm destined to fight for mine! When I see the enemy moving, I get to praying. If I notice his hand on my man's shoulder I say JESUS and he slithers away. When I see the enemy in the back of his eyes, I bring out my oil and run across his forehead (ok that secret is out babe). Women you are the superheroes! Remember that and use your powers! Not just at work…show that "S" on your chest at home!

Hang in there…don't give up on your man. No matter what the enemy does, I'm not perfect but I'm standing on His promises and I'm in this thing for the long haul. I'm going to fight with and for my man.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1