If you had to fight for it. The problem with most of y’all is that you never had to FIGHT for anything! Too much was given to you. You see, if you had to fight for what you got, you wouldn’t just let someone walk up and take it away.

Ever watched a co-worker totally disrespect a good job? Ask them how they got there. Chances are great someone helped them. Maybe a parent or a friend of their parents. Ask someone how they got that promotion. If they are on the job acting like folks owe them the job, chances are they got a lot of help to get where they are because if you had to bust your behind you wouldn’t act like it meant nothing. We rarely respect things we didn’t have to work for.

But when you had to fight for your way to the top, you wouldn’t let anyone knock you off your post without a battle. You got too much invested! Scars and bruises on your knees and covering your hands. Too many restless nights. Prayed too many prayers.

Heck no! I’m not going anywhere! Not when it comes to my marriage. Like the comedian said, if you are tired, then go take a nap! Go have a guys night out. Go take a walk in the park. Do whatever you need to do because I told Jesus and 3 White Folks that I ain’t going no where! (That’s what my bestie says when her mind is made up. Lol)

Not packing no bag. Not sleeping in the next bedroom. No separation. No weekends off. But what you can do is join me down here on my knees. Let’s pass this oil around. Declare and decree. Serve the enemy his eviction notice.

By any means necessary. You will have a better attitude towards that thing you worked hard for. Sweat and tears for. No matter what that is to you. When you put your all into it, you don’t let it go so easily.

Hence, why I believe many give up on marriages, especially new ones, because instead of fighting for the union, we only focus on fighting for self preservation. Fighting over who is in charge, who suppose to wash dishes and who suppose to take out the trash, fighting over who controls the finances and which account to use, over an attitude or argument a month ago, fighting over remaining independent, etc.

From the outside looking in, most issues stem from a lack of communication. Talking and listening or the lack thereof is what we are essentially calling it quits over. How petty is that. We not fighting at all. We just in our feelings. Too many of us are in our feelings because we aren’t getting our way. The other person isn’t let us control them. Hahahahaa doesn’t that just sound ridiculous. But I ask you, pull the layers back on your issue/that thing you can’t let go of. What is it truly about?

I encourage you all, seek the truth of your anger. Like the real truth and not what you tell people. Why are you so upset with your spouse? What are they not letting you have your way with? And then compare what you are going through with how you handle things with your parents. When your parents don’t give you your way, how do you respond? Is your reaction similar?

To be honest with these questions, may allow you to be honest with self. And being honest with self may allow you to see the situation clearly. Maybe you are making a few mistakes. Maybe you are causing unnecessary fights. Maybe you are doing exactly what you saw your parents do that you swore you wouldn’t. Now wouldn’t that just be something. To discover you have become the very thing you promised to never do.

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1