Now listen…you can NOT have power and be a pushover! Your husband needs to know his wife is crazy. I ain’t playing! If he thinks anything different, you are not working your magic. I’ll scream it from the highest mountain. Women have the power to set the atmosphere for her home! She sets the stage. Yes, I believe man is the head and she must submit to him; however only an immature women thinks submission means weakness. Not at all.

My husband is the head of our home but I steer the boat from my position/from my role. If the boat needs to go left, he decides the course but I’ve steered him along the way. Like “babe I think it may be good for us to go left but I don’t really know. What do you think? Whatever you think is the way we should go.” What do you think he will say? Unless he has some exceptional rule against left, he will take my recommendation and say “we going left.” And I’m like, “sure babe, you made a good choice, left it is.”

Now as a woman who regards her man as the head, I still know the importance of putting ones foot down! So this is how us women get screwed over. We get a man and we cater to him. I mean just about all his needs are met. We are available when he calls at all time. If he wants to go out, we going out. If we want to go out, usually we have to go around his plans. That’s the truth, we usually always make ourselves available. We are the ones on ready for marriage. So often times when he gives us the ring, he thinks he is in control. He essentially does what he wants to do…pushes the limit.

So let me tell you this, every man (every last one of them) and that includes yours missy pooh; every man will try you by pushing the envelope a little further and a little further to see what you will do. Ok so here is where putting your foot down comes in handy. Ladies you have to pick your battles. We can’t fight every little thing we don’t like that he does. However, it’s a MUST to know what you will NOT deal with. Period. Now I’m not talking about a laundry list of things. Now that’s not the way of putting foot down, that’s being petty. You will look like a foolish immature women fighting every battle to the point where you will be too worn out to handle the war when it comes. And that’s how they get us. You wear yourself out with little things so when real stuff happens, you are too tired to fight. It’s not worth the headache.

The key is to have 1 to 2; maybe even 3 things you will NOT put up with. And do not bulge. Do not waver on these things. So you can’t fight everything but those top 2 or 3 things you will bust his head over. He will meet his match that day baby! Ok! Yes, be the wife he desires. Pick up his dirty clothes when he leaves them around, place his shoes on the rack, clean the bathroom sink from his beard trimmings, occasionally take out the trash when he fails to, put the toilet seat down…yeah do all of that. But the first night his behind walks in the door after midnight without your knowledge of his whereabouts, meet his behind at the door and ask him “just where the duck do you think you’re going? Where have you been? No, don’t step a foot past this doorway until you answer me, push me out the way if you want to and I’ll go upside your head! Who is she? Don’t want to tell me? You can go back to her. Goodnight!” As the doors locks go click clack.

Or maybe he comes home after work every day but one day he tries you with his fist. Sistah sistah sistah…remember when Tina and Ike were in that limo? Yeah but only that one scene. You can miss me on the rest of the movie. Take in that one scene and act like what’s love gotta do with it and lose your mind as you throw everything you can get your hands on towards his head to include the kitchen sink. I mean black out and when you come back through, he is in the corner in a fetal position. I meant whop his behind so bad that he will think twice (3 times) before he ever touches you again.

Now women I’m not saying to do this. I’m just saying. Have a couple things you will not put up with, make it plan, make it known at the first offense, and don’t give in. For me, overall with anyone, mines is disrespect. I can’t say how this became such a stickler for me but it is. I absolutely will not accept disrespect from anyone. Want to see me come unglued…let me feel as if you have disrespected me. It’s something I can’t just let go. It’s a must that I tell you about your actions and how they made me feel and how I expect that it better not happen again.

I won’t take disrespect from folks in the street so surely I won’t from my husband. What this does is tell him, I got a good woman who won’t take my shit. Those 1 or 2 things can dictate how he treats you. As with anyone’s character, it’s not as important to track what people will do but more so to know what they will not do. Want to know what kind of person you are dealing with, know what they will not do no matter what. That same logic can be used here. It will speak volumes in your marriage when he knows you have boundaries. If there are none, you shall be a doormat sistah. Doormats at meant to be walked over but not you.

You are the queen of your home. Act like one! Scroll through exuding strength and class. Take your position next to him on your marriage throne. He actually wants you there. He wants you to speak up when necessary; not someone who nags but speaks out as she should. When he does wrong, tell him in a manner that he understands it. Get your point across. And walk off. He will be shame but then he will be instantly turned on. Hahhahaaaa. He is going to want you then girl! But real talk, he hears you and he will respect you for it.

Hold on to your power girl. Let him be head but don’t be afraid to put that foot down when you need to.

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1