I woke up this morning from a bad dream. Usually I don’t remember most dreams unless they are the scary ones and still those have to be really traumatic for me to recall details. Well, here I am over 2 hours later with not only the thoughts, but with vivid images.

Images of me running frantically through the streets looking for my own daughter. She has a ‘sweet’ nickname as well. We affectionately refer to her as Pudding (pronounced Puddin) or Puddin Pop. I often even shorten that to Pud.

In my nightmare, I was searching for my baby. She had been taken, kidnapped.

Isn’t that a parent’s worse nightmare? It surely is mines. And here this precious 3 year old, they call Cupcake has gone missing. Taken from a party where friends and family were in celebration. I can’t even imagine their pain or how they could be beating themselves up over the simple decision to attend this gathering. A night that was supposed to be filled with laughter, yet turned tragic.

I’m left with the many thoughts of the onlookers. None of which have spoken from a place of experience, but from imagination of what we believe we’d do if faced with the same situation. We attempt to put ourselves in their situation, minus the pain of it all. And we are surrounded by a host of the comments…

Comments of never letting our kids out of our sights again. A far left spectrum of vows or commands to others. “My daughter isn’t allowed outside without me.” Social media posts, “no matter how safe you think your neighborhood is, don’t let your kids go outside alone.” “If I’m not there, my kids can’t go! No one will watch my kids the way I will.”

As I totally understand such comments, as initially, we all think and feel this way. But this is fear! This is expected but this is not where we can stay. This isn’t healthy and I have to keep reminding myself of this very thing.

It’s okay to not want my child outside without my supervision but this isn’t reasonable. I have a son that is almost 9 years old. Boys like to ride their bikes and roam the neighborhood. Girls like to gather and jump rope and dance around. Kids like to explore, climb things, and run races.

We did these things as kids and I don’t want to take that fun away. Therefore, we have to give our kids boundaries and teach them safety rules. Well, what about all the pedafiles? What about the kidnappers? “The world we live in is evil.”

If we step back for a moment, the world has never been void of evil. I’m sure our African American ancestors can recall a time when it wasn’t safe for them as kids or as adults to roam around freely in the streets or without pardon papers. Someone can attest to gang violence being too heavy to allow kids to go outside. Or drug infested houses making it too difficult to send kids outside.

We all talk about today’s time as it being the worse in history. I encourage us all to remember that there is nothing new under the sun. Evil has always existed. The only difference between now and the olden days is social media and camera phones. Before now, we only had the news that came on 3 times a day. Now we are constantly fed news coverage of all levels of severity. No wonder we feel times have changed.

I won’t judge parenting styles but I will encourage everyone, being cautious due to the death of Cupcake, to be vigilant and strategic. Know where your babies are. Give them boundaries to stay within. And give them situations to look out for. Teach them to know their surroundings and what to do if approached by a stranger.

We must give our kids some level of freedom to enjoy their childhoods. Or we will be forever limited due to fear. And that’s not living. When we live in fear, the enemy wins. That can never be. We want to live a lifestyle where we win!

Rest In Peace Cupcake.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition. 😘

Competition of 1