Any decision made while being married, is a decision for two. And if we are being a little honest, any decision while being engaged is a decision for 2 as well. This is a level of maturity, if you ask me.

There is no way we can be successful in our marriages operating off of the notion of “what you eat don’t make me sh&&.” That’s a saying for the single single folks because any and every decision made by a husband affects his wife and vice versa.”

And I’m not referring to no big stuff either. EVERY decision. The small things too. All of it. The worse thing we can ever assume is that what we are doing isn’t affecting the other person.

True story. While we were engaged, my husband decided to purchase him an ole school vehicle, ‘69 Nova, I believe. He decided that he wanted to fix this thing up. It needed a lot of work. He bought it from a guy who had a car detail shop where he also did repairs. So he bought it from the guy and hired the guy to do the work and to store the car on his property.

I never saw the car but eventually learned about the payments being rendered towards it. “What…wait.” So you mean to tell me that you done bought a WHOLE car without telling me? I felt so disregarded. Needless to say, we had several falling outs about this car! But you know what was the most damaging part of the arguments? My husband loved, I mean took great pride in reminding me, “I didn’t have to consult with you? We aren’t married yet.”

Just wow. I was livid! For him to not understand why I was so upset, made things even worse. For the life of me, no explaining I did got through to him. Eventually I just stopped talking about that stupid car. It was like talking to a brick damn wall. It was only until another person from the outside explained to him the error in his thinking.

Just like most other couples, we held pre-marital counseling sessions with my pastor. You know this was my time to let it all out. And let it out I did. I’m not saying the pastor took my side on everything but this one thing, he did. He was able to break it down to my husband in a way that he could understand. Basically, such a decision would affect OUR home in regards to family bills being ALL bills associated with the husband and wife.

So it’s no difference in me going around town on a shopping spree with my credit card. All charges before we got married (while engaged) and during the marriage would essentially be bills we both would be responsible for.

For the folks having separate accounts with separate bills…it will still affect the other person. If all my money is spent on credit cards, then guess what? That money can’t be spent on things the house may need. And chances are great, that they may need to borrow from their spouse. Separate finances is something I’ll never understand, but I digress.

Just know this…all decisions, no matter how big or small, we have to be mindful that it can affect your spouse. If you don’t care, just throw the whole blog away out of your mind. Lol but if you want your spouse to be considerate of how their decisions affect you and your kids (if you all have any), well we must remember that the things we do, affects them directly or indirectly.

If you agree or don’t agree, leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you. And check out this website if you desire to attend our couple’s marriage retreat this summer. We have great discussions such as those within this marriage series enjoyed by all. www.fightingformarriages.com

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

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