Yes, you! Whomever is reading this, that is married, I’m talking to you. Man or female, you must submit to your spouse. So let me go on ahead and clear this up because I’m sure I’m not the only one that grew up with only one part of that biblical charge.

I’m not a biblical scholar so you should go behind me and check for thine shelves. One thing I do know is that we all mess up scripture interpretations. We subtract and add to benefit us. We all do it. So each of us, to know if we are right or wrong, we should check ourselves and checking ourselves is to consult with Him. This could also include studying His Word in great details. Another thing I know is that He always reveals His truth.

So let me reveal this ONE truth that I didn’t realize until lately. Well, let me give you another part of it first. I won’t lie, I grew up thinking only the women were charged with submission within a marriage. All I’d ever heard was “woman submit to your husbands.” Translation: Do what your husband says. Did I agree with it? NERP. Before I got married, I was definitely a rebel ‘in theory’ towards that scripture. Submit to who? I told myself that I’d worry about that once I got married.

But one day, I did just that. I got married. So how do you think that submission thing went in our household? Ummm it didn’t. Recall from Part VI (Red Ink Version), my mama showed up after we got married. And if you know anything about my mama, you know she is a beast with it. She plays no games and gives no 4cks. So sure as day, I was walking around turning over Cedrick the Entertainer’s famous quote in my head, “I wish a MF would” try to tell me what to do.

I’ll stop there with that interpretation because one day in adulthood as a wife, I read along with the pastor when he read, not only that verse (Ephesians 5: 22), but he read the entire passage (Ephesians 5: 21-33). His emphasis at the time was on verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He took the time to extrapolate that verse this service, not the verse we so loosely proclaim. I learned that day that God didn’t mean for women to blindly submit to their husbands. He didn’t mean for her to be weak, foolish, or a doormat for the man she married. But instead, He charged the man to LOVE his wife like Christ loved the church.

So guess what? That means that my husband will love love me! He wouldn’t direct me to do anything wrong. He can’t love and hate me at the same time. No one abuses themself so he couldn’t expect me to submit while he misused and abused me. His heart had to be right. His heart had to mimic that of Christ. And what did Christ do? He gave Himself up for the church. He sacrificed Himself for the church yall!

A friend mentioned on Facebook the other day that it’s better to inform than to judge. So if you have been living with that wrong interpretation (not really wrong but limited interpretation…lacking full understanding), it’s ok. I’m writing to inform because I too never took the time to read it in full for myself. That is why we should not just take what someone says (even a pastor) but to go back and read the scripture (to include those passages before and afterwards) for our own understanding…for a better understanding. And it’s best to study the context of the Word, for instance, to know what was going on in that time to produce the text. I do this sometimes, but not always, but it is good practice.

Let me fast forward to this year’s study of that same passage. You do know that you can reread scriptures later and gain more information than the time before? So this year; I’ve heard preached and read in a nonfictional Christian book, that actually the man was given the GREATER charge!!! Yes…he was. Go back and read it. Here is the sweet part that I want to make sure you get (you…that is reading this).

God started off saying (in the NLT it titles that section “Instructions for Christian Households…” don’t miss that). Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” THEN it starts into the details of that instruction. The women were just called out first. Wives submit to your husband. And history has it that we all stopped there. But the very next sentence. Not the next chapter. The next sentence. You had a ‘period’ and two spaces, then the charge went to the husband. Husband love…as Christ loved the church.

CHRIST DIED FOR THE CHURCH!!! Hence, He scarified Himself for the church! That is the GREATEST sacrifice. So, your husband should die for you? Ummm NO. We interpret that to mean that your husband will die to himself for you. He will put you and your needs before his own (please don’t be petty here…you know what I’m saying). He will do his best to be sure you are taken care of sis.

Now let’s put ALL of that together for a better meaning:

• We (wife and husband) should submit to each other.
• Wives submit (respect) to YOUR husband.
• Husbands love YOUR wife.
• Sacrifice for each other.
• Wives put your husbands first. Husbands put your wives first.

Was this helpful? Does it better explain the intentions behind that word: Submission? It’s not so bad after all, is it? Are you ready to surrender to that word? Can you imagine a marriage where both of you consistently trying to satisfy or make each other happy? Go forward with the idea of sacrificing for one another, taking care of one another, focusing on making each other happy, submitting to one another.

Thanks for your attention. As mentioned this week, we have a limited number of spaces left for our 3rd Annual Fighting for Marriages Couple’s Retreat Summer 2020. If you are interested, check us out at: www.fightingformarriages.com

Remember you are your own competition.

Competition of 1