Stupidly, there was a time when I didn’t worry about this sort of thing happening to my daughter. As I’ve watched the videos of black men being shot at the hands of police, in my mind, this was an issue I had to tackle with my son. I thought it was my job to teach him how to not only show respect to authority, but how to handle himself with police. Thought this was just a male child problem for us with damaged skin.

Then there was Sandra Bland. Remember her? Say her name. She was pulled over because she didn’t use her turn signal.

A turn signal. A signal that tells other drivers that we are about to make a turn or change lanes. It’s just a lever we activate in our cars. A signal. A courtesy signal. Yes, that thing that you sometimes do and sometimes you don’t. A turn signal. A damn turn signal caused her to be pulled over. So a damn turn signal can essentially be the reason why this young lady is no longer in the land of the living. SMH

Seems unfair. That’s what Sandra said. She didn’t ‘cooperate’ as the officer (and some of you) felt she should. She didn’t understand the reason for the stop. She was livid, as we all would be. Yes, you. None of us can act like we’ve never been pissed at a meter maid, traffic cop, flashlight cop, hell an HOA letter filer. Anyway…Stopping her for not using a turn signal. What a waste for a stop. But it lead to her unruly arrest. She was arrested and taken to jail. Within 3 days, she was dead. Her death…labeled a suicide.

So many questions here. So many things I can’t teach my own daughter. I don’t even know where to start. If you are questioned by a police, rather he/she is right or wrong, just do as they say. If she is arrested and taken to jail, I don’t know what to tell her if she finds herself in this situation as I’ve never been arrested (knocking on all the wood). Guess she never needs to get into trouble, always use her turn signals, and don’t say nothing…well wait, she has to talk. So just answer the officers’ questions and that’s it, nothing else. Don’t reach for shit! And pray you aren’t arrested cus if you go to jail, the outcome will just depend. I don’t know what it depends on. Baby just hope you are arrested by good cops and not bad ones. 🗣Just don’t get arrested…but don’t you run either. Sigh.

So what happened in those days leading up to Sandra’s death? As I think about how things must have been for her, I’m reminded of how our bodies were not our bodies decades ago. Our owners had their way with us and there was nothing we could do about it. Did they sexually assault her? Surely they thought to check. Maybe they did, humph, but whose side are they on? Sodomy, maybe? Who knows. All we know is that she went in but never came back out.

Whatever could’ve happened isn’t foreign and would probably be justified in their heads. Our skin deserves that kind of behavior many think. We’ve done something to deserve it, they often believe. I mean if we really think about it, it runs deep in my own family. How else do you explain yellow skin with gray eyes?

She got those features from a great great grandmother who lived in the rural areas of Texas, 200 plus miles from Dallas. In her days (great-great grandmother), mixed relations was labeled a sin. Even if she inherited the skin tone and eyes, either way there is a slim chance, it was a voluntary act that lead to the pregnancy of my husband’s grandmother.

Kidnapping. Sex-trafficking. Scared cops. All of this, I’m in fear of and my daughter is just 6 years old. She is my one and only daughter. She is so fun and funny. She makes me laugh daily. She is so smart. She loses her mind when she makes a mistake on a test in school. If she messes up a sight word, she damn near melts in the floor. She is so hilarious. And the cutest thing now is that she wants to do everything I do. From putting on make-up, jewelry, and taking baths in our garden tub while I shower. I get so tickled as I try to sneak and shower without her in the bathroom because she likes to talk the whole time and I just want a moment of silence.

But I know she will grow out of this phase into something else so I just smile and let her do her thing. I’m sure the next phase will be just as hilarious but I look forward to them all. From now through college, until her dad and I give her away at the alter, to the delivery room. This is my baby. And I love her. I’d do anything for her.

Next to the donor box on our license, can we add another box? It would essentially be a donor box as well, labeled “MOMMY DONOR.” Instead of her life, call me…

I’ll gladly come and lay mines down for hers…officer. Please.

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competition of 1