There is a difference. There is a difference between being burned out over something and being burned by someone. I see this being played out all the time. With either of these, there is almost a guarantee that bitterness will soon set in and it will essentially start affecting behaviors.

To be burned means we are physically and mentally exhausted from daily demands of life. We are often exhausted and stressed from being stretched too thing. We take on way more than we can handle out of wanting control, preferring perfection, or it could be due to someone else’s neglect. Believe it or not, sometimes we desire help but when it doesn’t come when we want it or how we want it, we become bitter.

We aren’t crazy. We know that those around us sense our stress. They see us running around like a chicken with our heads cut off. So when we know folks see us and they aren’t offering help, we get a little pissed inside. The flip side of that occurs when the people offer help but ‘half-do’ the job or don’t do it to our expectations. Women, we are infamous for that latter one especially when it comes to chores around the house.

That laundry has to be folded a certain way.

If those bath towels aren’t folded and placed in the closet with the smooth side facing out, throw the whole effort away. The groceries have to be put away in a certain order, bowls and plates washed and stacked with matching sets, underwear folded a certain way, and the list goes on and on. We want help but it has to be our way, says all the women in the world. LOL. We are so petty.

But then we have this thing called being burned. Being burned means someone has wronged or offended you. Maybe they stabbed you in the back, lied on you, or abused your trust. These people can be close friends, co-workers, or even family members. This is when it hurts the worse. Normally strangers have little to no effect on us. But when those in our inner circles burn us, it hits differently.

For some strange reason, when those closest to us burn us, subconsciously we shut down. We either shut down the lines of communication in the relationship or stop doing things we once did out of retaliation. And this just doesn’t occur in personal relationship, this happens in working relationships as well.

When resentment settles in, our feet often stops moving. It’s a natural reaction. We don’t want to do anything for those that have hurt us. I get it, but that’s often the most selfish response. It’s not like the relationship stopped so I consider it selfish if we continue to benefit from something we stopped contributing to.

Think about it. As kids, if parents don’t allow them to have their way, kids often rebel against rules of the house. Kids may refuse to clean as they should, act out in school, or other ways of disobedience. Is this fair for the parents that continue to provide financial support, love and security? Nope.

To make it plain, this same example can be seen in the workplace. You do know that kids grow up to be adults, and often times, adults are just grown up kids. Employees get mad at work when they don’t feel appreciated, when the promotion isn’t granted, ideas aren’t received, etc. And when bitterness comes in, employees often stop working or limit their efforts and/or creativity. Whereas there may have been a time when they gave great effort, lets say 100%. Now they only give about 50%. Or possibly far less than that.

How is that selfish? Well, did the paycheck reduce to 50%? Nope.

Is there an area in your life where you have checked out mentally or physically? Was there a time when you gave your all but now, you can’t see yourself being an active participant? What happened? Are you burned out? Or has someone burned you?

If we aren’t careful, either of these situations can effect our ability to meet our goals in life. Maybe it was your parents that upset you, but as a result, you stopped following your dreams. Like if you really think about it, how does that hurt them? Like really. Or say for instance, we stopped giving effort at work because someone besides us got that last promotion. Now another promotion has surfaced, can you reasonably expect it now especially when you have stopped giving effort? How are you deserving of it, again? I’m confused.

Worse case scenario, you have started punishing your spouse for not doing something you expected them to do. Punishing with not allowing them access to your body (women often do this) or not allowing them access to your heart, emotions, or time (men often do this). Now you’ve pushed them away or pushed them into the arms of another.

What have you stopped doing that you once found pleasure…all because someone let you down? Was it worth giving up on you? Was it worth hindering your progress? Or are you truly burned out and need help? First question I pose to wives, have you asked for help?

One thing is for sure, it’s not too late to turn this ship around and head back in the direction of your true desire or purpose. First, admit to the going the wrong way. Then decide to turn back around. That simple.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competition of 1