I sat and watched another little girl follow my daughter around. As a bonafide lion, I was stationed to protect my daughter. You see this little girl who appeared to be a year or two older than London, who is 4 years old, had just pushed my daughter off a balance beam. London being her mother’s child, pushed her back.

Another parent reached them before I did to breakup this spat. I embraced my crying daughter to determine what had happened. Through tears she explained that the girl called her ugly and was following her around and eventually pushed her.

So now, my position is standing on guard. London continues to play with her friends and I stand and observe this little girl’s pursuit after my daughter, daring her in my head to touch her again. You see, I have no problem fighting a 5 year old over mines and then finding her mom to welcome another match. Hahahaaa. Ha. I’m kidding. Ummm a little bit kidding. (Looks off…)

Besides thoughts of this possible boxing match, my mind goes deep into thought. This is a child that will one day grow up. If not addressed now, this same behavior will continue throughout her adolescence. But most importantly, what has come over her to influence such behavior? I know my daughter and she isn’t one to pick a fight. She makes friends everywhere she goes and pretty much has been with her friends at this party.

What could it be? No matter what you call it: spirits, badness, jealousy, or even curses, these things must be addressed. For instance, bullies are/can be made at home! Anytime we watch and laugh or turn our heads when this behavior takes place among siblings; how can we be sure the behavior doesn’t exist outside our homes? Teaches send home notes or discuss at Parent-teacher conferences and we love to claim, “oh no not my child.”

YES! These kids are bullying, envying, lying, cursing, stealing, cheating, sexing, sneaking, fighting, ditching…have I named yours yet? And the sad thing is, many of these behaviors are going on at home and we downgrade it, ignore it, or fail to punish for it.

When I notice my own son being mean to his sister, mellowing (is that the word), teasing, ignoring, bullying, or hitting his sister; I correct it. This is his first relationship with another female. Why not start teaching him how to treat girls with his sister instead of watching him mistreat her and simply laugh it off because you know kids will be kids. Well guess what: kids will be kids and those same kids grow up into grown kids doing these same things!

Time out for watching and ignoring these behaviors. When I noticed London turning away from another little girl gymnast, I praised the Lil girl and questioned my daughter on her lack of interest and she explained to me that she wished she could do that. Did I use that time to tell her how she is better than that little gymnast? Did I downgrade that girl’s ability? Absolutely not!

I took that opportunity to explain that with hard work and dedication that she could learn to be good just like her or even better. Expressed that we should be happy for others and their accomplishments.

It is up to us to shape the mindset of our kids. But I think we fail here because so many of us grown kids are still doing these same things. So how can we fuss at our own mirrors? Most of the time they are only doing what they see us do (involuntary lessons) OR they could have inherited our personal curses. Some of this stuff is passed down from generation to generation.

Being so self-aware, I grew up fighting off Family curses or generational issues that I decided had no place in the family I wanted for myself. I’m not perfect. But I try to be intentional about my efforts to teach and nurture my kids. And when I find myself slipping, I try to make the necessary changes to get back right.

It’s never too late! It’s not too late for mines. Showing up at this battle, period, makes my arrival on time! We have to take our kids back!!! Either we take ownership now or risk their freedom later.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

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