This is one area I will never understand. Yet it seems to be so popular. I can’t say how long this silly competition has taken place. But part of me believes when the turn of the century started opening up more doors for us to walk through, there is where the competition started.

You see, chances are great you are doing better than how you were raised. Well rightfully so because if you are anything like me, your parents promoted you into doing better than them. That’s how many parents taught their kids. To do better. To learn more. To see the world. To explore.

So if that became the new lessons learned, how did that manifest into this era of competition? How did this become a source of confusion in our homes? Here is the elephant in the room. It was cute in the beginning. Everything is celebrated in the beginning. But then it just stops because now it’s a nuisance.

Have you ever noticed how when someone starts a new adventure, it’s congratulated at first. Everyone is excited and thrilled that person has stepped out of their comfort zone. It’s cool at first. But once a little reward comes into the picture, increase in compensation, some kind of recognition, or whatever it is. Doesn’t matter what it is. The congratulatory messages are now slick comments on the side.

“Don’t get too big now.”

“Don’t forget where you came from?”

“Why do you need a new car? Or that car?”

“Why wasn’t the other house big enough? You didn’t need a new house.”

“How much did that cost? Oh. That much. Well I guess cus you can afford it.”

The list of innuendos goes on and on. And these questions and comments are coming from your home front. Your family members. Think about it. Any success you’ve had, has become sort of an issue for you when you visit for the holidays or just regular family time.

You’ve ignored it but really think about it. You ignored it because you love your parents and they taught you to become who you are so it just doesn’t make sense to you how they would have a hint of jealously.

There. I said it for you. Never do we want to think our parents. Our mother. Our own father. How could they be jealous of us? Noooo, not them. They encouraged us to go to college for a better chance. They rooted for us to be great, not just good, but great.

Not even me. Yet, over the last couple of years, I’ve had to question this very thing with my own mother. We are estranged now. It’s been about a year and half for us. And honestly, I have no idea why. I have my assumptions. But that is just my side. I don’t have hers. Therefore, I’ll never berate her out of love for her.

But as my life changed after my last big spiritual warfare, right before my blessing of this new career came; so did our mother/daughter relationship. You see I’m a believer in spiritual warfare. Before my current marriage retreat battle, I was on the verge of a breakthrough at work. I had been wanting and praying for a career change since 2014. Yes, things take time and rightfully so. In 2014, I got a promotion, so had I left, it would’ve been prematurely.

But I was ultimately wanting a change in locations and functions. The change came in 2017. But not without warfare that commenced in the fall of 2016. I’m aware of my seasons. My warfare usually comes in the fall. So of course, the predecessor was in the fall of 2013.

So what I’m saying is this. I don’t hate my mom. I have much love for her. I’m only doing what she taught me to do. But I know part of my warfare is the enemy using her against me. But I think he uses her by creating this divide between us by making us competitors. Mother against daughter.

But I don’t want to fight. Not her at least. She is my mom. Can’t lie and say I don’t miss her. We are both missing out on memories that could be made. She is missing out on her grandkids and we’re missing out on our mother/daughter chats. And it’s sad. It still hurts at time when I really think about it. Like right now.

That’s why competition has no place within families, between parents and their children. Between fathers and their sons. Surely not between mothers and their daughters.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

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