Full loads. 9 to 5s. More than one job. More than one child and they have busy schedules too. Church ministries, choir, and volunteer work. Other organizations affiliations and they have meetings and activities alike. You are busy.

Are you stressed yet? Beyond stress? Not sure?

Sometimes I don’t think we realize all of the demands we place on ourselves and the silent damage it does. It’s silent because we miss the signs and never see it coming. How can we? We are too busy to notice.

This damage includes the many marriages that fail over small offenses such as undone housework and disregarded feelings. Such things that can be easily worked out. Damage such as kids feeling disregarded and unloved. The erosion of the family unit because there is never time to call or visit. All of this as well as the damage to our bodies from the stress of it all.

Stress kills! We hear it all the time but ignore it. We can’t quite put our finger on it but stress is a silent killer. It is caused by a number of things that we often can’t distinguish its presence from the normality in the things we believe are good for us.

Social media gets a bad rap but I think there is just enough good in it as bad and I try to focus on the good things, the good posts, and the good vibes. Well this week I got delivered. Lol. I landed upon a post from a buddy. Mr. Collins said, “Parents: DO NOT attend all of your children’s extracurricular activities at the expense of your mental health. A stressed out, constantly rushing, sleep deprived parent is not a good parent.” Key Word: all.

Reading that actually brought light to me because that is exactly what I was experiencing. Feeling as if any free time I have outside of work isn’t really mines. It belongs to the kids and both of mines are busy. My daughter is a dancer and gymnast at age 5. (I know I know). And my son, age 8 plays travel basketball (2 teams) and baseball. Shaking my head…

Sometimes I just want to leave a hard day at work and just go home and relax but I can’t. Their practices are waiting and surely I don’t want to waste my money for the lessons nor do I want the kids to fall behind on lessons, right. So I’ll just relax on the weekend. Maybe sleep in on Saturday.

Nope…I can’t. There are ballgames scheduled throughout the day. There goes my weekend.

Have you ever felt like this? And still somewhere in here I need to get groceries, cook, clean, and do laundry. Wow. Just like that it’s Monday and it starts all over again.

Well within that post that was surely talking to me, I expressed that I often feel like I must attend ALL the kids events and put their events above all others. Yes, I realize they are my kids and I must show my support but missing a game every now and then isn’t the end of the world.

I even tagged my husband on the post as a way of expressing how I was feeling. As a speaker and author, there are events I’d like to attend which are usually on the weekends so they often compete with the kid’s activities. All this time I thought my husband was disappointed in me if I chose an event that was in my best interest over those of the kids.

Well surprisingly I had made that assumption up in my head. He expressed a totally different position. He was/is actually supportive of me doing events that will help launch my goal of becoming a world known speaker and author. I was so surprised.

So there…I feel less stressed about the thoughts of having to choose between the two. But what about the exhaustion after a long day or week? Will I have the guts to say no? What about the nerve to say “no activities this week, we are taking this week off.”Amazingly, that seems like one decision I’m not sure I can make. And I’m almost positive my husband won’t do it. But we must learn how to reduce stress when things get out of hand. It’s hard for us so I know it to be hard for you. But somehow we must understand that life will go on if we decide to slow the trains down in our lives just as they will keep on moving.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

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