I’m guilty…

When it comes to my livelihood, I’ve orchestrated coping techniques that allow me to go on with my life. I’m the queen of moving on.

I’m guilty of being over accommodating of situations on the verge of going bad. Once I realize you and I are going to have an issue, I’m guilty of giving in to you. Especially if this allows you to sleep at night. No need in fighting over stuff that doesn’t matter to me but means so much to you. Its easier for me to let you have your way. You won! You won!

I’m guilty of not saying what I really want to say. I genuinely care about people and their feelings over mine. Correction: this doesn’t make me weak. This makes me a life saver! When I don’t say those things that manifest on the evil, corrupt, and deranged side of my brain, I save you from hurt feelings, stress, and tears. Preserving my venom is best.

I’m guilty of loving on you when you hate me. You realize how much energy it takes to harbor hate? Too much, that’s how much. And I have no energy for those that hate me without reason. So guess what? You’ll be in that dark space by yourself. I’ll be damned if I join you. But what I will do is SMILE. All pearly whites when I see you. I’ll ask about your family even. Fake? Nope, not at all. I’ve just made it up in my mind that I will not live my life in turmoil, hate, or in disagreement. I don’t care if I live to be 90 yrs old, life is still too short for such things.

I’m even guilty of being content. Don’t want to fool with me? Cool. If you walk away, I’ll just love you from a distance. That’s right. No love lost. I’ll watch walk away and pray for you while you are gone. With open arms, I’ll even welcome you back when you get over yourself. You done. Or are you finished. And carry on as if nothing even happened.

Listen! I’m not telling you to be fake with yourself or hide your feelings. Sometimes it goes well to just spend time knowing who or what you are dealing with versus trying to change it. I don’t change people. I change how I deal with people. And how you see and deal with people can change the course of your life.

You thinking “this doesn’t sound like the Nakia I know.” Good. That means it’s working.

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1