I hate to be the one to say this but it’s been a long time coming. I can’t say this was a mistake, I wanted to do it and I’m actually mad at myself for waiting so long to make this decision. I’m not going to apologize for my behavior. I’ve neglected myself for long enough. It makes me sad. So I’m done with it.

Duck what to have to say!

It’s time for me to fall back in love. Fall back in love with me. I don’t hate myself but I’ve put me to the side and guess what I’m not alone. Honey if you are a good mother, you have done this too.

I can recall one Christmas season, a good 3 years ago leaving the mall in tears. I had bags in my hand for my daughter and my son. You see, it was so easy for me to walk into a store, even if I was going to get something for me, and I’d leave with nothing for me but with bags for them. I would buy anything their size that I thought was cute and buy them several things. But when it came to me, it had to be super on sale, and I would be debating for several minutes. Literally trying to talk myself into making the purchase. Often times, leaving the item behind.

On this day, the earrings were $5. FIVE DOLLARS! Did you catch that…$5 and I put the earrings down, told myself I didn’t need them, and walked quickly to the car as I fought back tears. Got in the car and called my husband and cried silently. I still haven’t learned to be free around my husband and let out the tears. But he knew what I was going through and he tried to convince me to go back and get the earrings but I couldn’t at this point because my eyes were bloodshot red now and nose snotty.

I was literally crying boohoo tears over some FIVE DOLLAR earrings y’all!!!

I have just started to improve this year and it took my husband to get me started by giving me gift certificates for Christmas to get my nails and toes done and to DSW shoe store. I’ve always loooovvveee shoes but don’t buy often anymore and if I do, it’s an universal pair (black). I went out and bought black shoes but they were half black and half royal blue and I ROCK them.

Well I’m proud to say, I have also kept my nails done y’all year. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

This weekend I’m participating in a women’s conference called Sistah-2-Sistah hosted by an awesome woman of God, Sylvia Folks. This is my 5th year participating (8th year for the conference) and this is my first year on program as one of the speakers and it has been absolutely phenomenal. This is the first year that I also made the conscious decision to stay the entire time and NOT leave earlier to go back home to my family. The event is only an hour away in Guntersville, AL off the lake. I’ve always dealt with “mother’s guilt” and feel like I can’t be away from my kids and my husband.

But I’ve decided that this weekend, I’m going to cheat on myself and love on me! I won’t even tell you how much I’ve spent with the vendor on-site, Cavella’s Boutique & Things. But let’s just say, a sistah gone be sharp!!! Follow her #cavellasboutique

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1