I swear there are times when I can hate or should hate and I just can’t. I’ll go in trying to be mad but it doesn’t last long. I can talk myself into it and before long, the harsh feelings will go away.

I need help y’all. For some this is so easy to do but for me, this is a trial in itself. I’m sure you have the confused look on your face but this often times makes me feel like a wuss especially when I can’t control my feelings.

Here’s the thing. When someone stabs me in the back for all to see, I should be pissed. I have the right to be mad and many expect me to be or look for me to be upset. So when I don’t express this discontentment, I at times feel like folks think I’m a fool.

Trust this…they can think it but I know who and what I am so it doesn’t bother me all that much. Maybe a little but I can’t help it, I must be me. I don’t want folks to think I’m weak because I’d hate for them to see the suppressed side of me. I don’t mind checking people and putting them in their place.

But if someone does me wrong, why can’t I get even? Why can’t I go off on them and remain mad at them? Why is this so hard for me to do???

And I’m sure, the world probably could use more of me. Folks that go on about life instead of staying in their feelings but dang every now and then I should be able to wallow in my anger more than a day or 2.

I want to graduate from Petty University too! But I can’t. It’s just not me. I love on people. When they do me wrong, I still speak. When they talk about me behind my back, I still act the same as I did before. If we used to hand out hugs, I hug. If someone needs my assistance and they’ve wrong me, I help.

I don’t always like how I operate but how I am has never hurt anyone. It may or may not look good in front of company but who cares. I will love on people. I will pray for them. I don’t want to meet the day someone does something unforgivable to me. I’m sure if I ever do, it will hurt like hell but I pray I’m able to love them anyway.

Thanks for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

Competitionof1