There are two places the most fights break out, figuratively, and that’s at home and and work. Since it’s lunchtime where I’m at, I’ll start with work.

Know anyone that constantly starts fights at work about what they thought they deserved? Perhaps it’s you. The murmuring goes like this: I deserved that front parking space. I deserved that office.  I deserved that lead project. I deserved that position. I deserved that promotion. Well let me break it down to you gently. You don’t deserve nothing you haven’t earned! Maybe you looked around and said “I’m the best in this office or organization, they don’t do this, they don’t do that.” 

Let me take it off of you before you stop fooling with my blog and I’m just getting started. I’ll focus on Nakia. Nakia doesn’t deserve nothing she hasn’t gave 200% to. Yes 200%. 100 is the standard. 100 is expected. So each time I try something and it doesn’t turn out as I expected, I ask myself the question “did you do your best, did you give your all? Did you really earn it?” If I stutter while answering, the answer is no. Continue my self discussion, “So I don’t have the right to fight. I half-ass’ed most of the time with that one, so go sit down somewhere Lil girl. You can’t get mad if you didn’t do your part.” So I correct myself and I stand down from the fight. I make note to do better next time. 

Now recall the title of this page speaking of competition being one, well yes just about everything on the outside can be viewed as a competition but my goal is to deal with the inside that in which we have control of. We can’t control what goes on outside. It’s raining. Nothing you can do about that but you can decide to take an umbrella. When we focus on ourselves as our true competition, we essentially compete with ourselves to make ourselves better. We don’t worry about what they are doing. What they do doesn’t matter when our focus is on what we are doing and rather or not it’s our best based on our abilities. 

So after we assess ourselves and things don’t go as we expect and we know what we know and know that we know what we know (yes I said that right) we may then want to decide “you know what, it’s time to fight for what’s right, not what we thought we deserved.”

Now, to take this to your doorstep, most of the home court fights deal with us being in our feelings. Family member has either hurt our feelings or pissed us off. Most of the time it’s from miscommunication or flawed assumptions. Well the process is similar. Before we rally our troops, we have to assess within: Am I viewing this correctly? Did I attempt to communicate my issue for understanding? Did I approach them wrong? What did I do to cause this rift? Was the responsibility on me to do something I didn’t do? What did they say, did they use them exact words or am I putting a spin on what actually went down?

There are many circumstances and situations that could occur at home to divide a family. This is a platform I have great interests in so I won’t belabor it here but essentially if we take our selfish, everything evolves around me, it’s my way or no way, they didn’t have to say it like that or whatever and really tear into the role we played in that situation or better yet clarify what the situation is! You’d be amazed at how many homes or relationships are broken for years to come simply because no one is man enough or woman enough to have the conversation about what went down, respectfully. Years later, ask them what happened between them. Sadly, it’s forgotten yet they haven’t talked since whatever it is happened. 

Ok so now let’s say, we’ve taken an honest internal assessment and determined “IT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!” Well wait, don’t start swinging fists and words just yet. Let’s be adult about this thing. There is a way to fight without all of that. You don’t even have to utter a curse word with the way I’m about to share. 

It’s simple. I personally take it all to God in prayer. Like for real and if I forget and move too fast, I back track it to Him. The worse mistake we can make is not bringing God to work. Is you crazy??? For some reason we figure we have Him at church or home but we can handle the work stuff. No ma’am! No sir! Take Him to work daily! Send Him in before you arrive! 

Overall I’m a positive person and this is all because I involve Him in all things. Authority do me wrong, I involve Him.  Co-worker looking at me crazy, I involve Him. Flat tire, I call Him. Too many bags to carry, I need a closer parking space, move a car Lord. Lost my keys, Jesus where they at? You got my point. If you have a moment, William McDowell has a song called Withholding Nothing. But when you hit google search “Barbara Watson Withholding Nothing.” Its on YouTube. I’m not saying she is better but she is my friend and I have the right to be a little biased. Lol. Well in the song she says “I give every little thing and big thing in my life to you. Withholding nothing.” 

So back from that commercial break, no matter what it is, give it to Him. Ask Him for guidance and understanding. When we learn to give the little things over and watch Him work them out by leading us in the right direction, giving us the right words to say, and convicting us when we are in the wrong and helping us to make things right…when we do those small things with Him we learn how to have faith in the BIG things knowing He will be right there continuing to see us through, guiding us and holding us up. 

We gotta stop fighting over everything because we have a fist and a few choice words to share. Pray for the spirit of discernment to advise you. If it says to fight, fight! But fight through His words. I’m here to tell you, having Him as my tag team partner, when I get tired, I just reach back (go to Him) and tag Him in. He will fight your battles! Shoot sometimes I don’t even fight when I should be throwing down. I just say “Jesus!” I talk to myself “I ain’t got time for this…”Jesus”…they don’t even know who I am! I don’t play that, “Jesus.” Call on Him! 

I’ll leave you with a quote alright:

“There is POWER in His name! Call on Him!” ~ someone’s Baptist pastor

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your only competition.

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