To be living. Again. To smell the roses as they say. To be enjoying life and all that life has in store. The routine is out the door. The mundane has no place to stay. I’m living my best life and it feels so darn good.

Less than 2 years ago, if I’m being honest, just over 1 year ago, I was just existing. Routine had me by the throat and I was actually liking the pain. As I had a dislike for the weekends. Like who doesn’t enjoy the weekends? Well that was me.

The weekends had activities but none I really wanted to partake in. Once at an event, I would enjoy myself but I was never truly looking forward to any of my plans. I was in love with the routine.

Go to work, go back home. Go to work, go back home. Go to work…home.

But the crazy thing is, if I had no weekend plans, that produced another kind of stress called FOMO (fear of missing out). I’d feel like the world was going on around me and I wasn’t invited. At times I’d justify the rest, but then couldn’t rest because my mind would remind me of all the things I could be doing on my to-do list. So if I didn’t do those things but instead rested, here comes the guilt trip of being what I thought was being lazy and sorry. And I knew I wasn’t either lazy or sorry so once I reminded myself of all my hard work and contributions, I’d start thinking my husband was thinking those things. Sigh

Yes, that was me. Damn if I did, damned if I didn’t. I couldn’t satisfy myself.

Couldn’t control my feelings or thoughts. I knew better but it wasn’t until I started praying about these feelings. Through self awareness I knew I needed to change. Through prayer, reflection, and listening I was reminded of His work for my life. My purpose that had been started but had gone unfulfilled. In order to live and to be filled with joy, there was one thing I had to do. Get back to the Lord’s business.

And that’s what I did. Blogging was my first step and since I started this blog in June of 2017, I’ve been taking more steps and all have lead to a life of joy and fulfillment. I’m no longer regretting a busy week day or weekend or complete empty weekend. All days are exciting…even Monday’s.

That’s when I knew life was different for me. I started welcoming Monday mornings because it signified the beginning of and more time to do more things.

I’m now loving life. I have joy. I have peace. I love me some me.

Thank you for your attention. Remember you are your own competition.

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